1. Use simple sentence for clarity or impact
The Subject-Verb-Object (SVO) format is the most effective sentence structure for clarity. Readers instinctively look for the “who does what” pattern in the sentence.
The closest you keep the SVO together, the clearer the sentence will be. Use simple sentence structure to explain complex ideas, make an impact, or describe a method.
(Clear) Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States.
(Loaded) Heart disease, which is a multifaceted and increasingly prevalent health condition, is widely recognized, among other significant health issues, as the leading cause of death in the United States. (the impact is diluted and the meaning difficult to grasp)
Repeating simple sentences is preferred when describing a scientific method:
Twelve ml of normal saline was flushed through the cannula. The cannula was allowed to drain for 1 min. Another 12 ml of normal saline was then flushed through the cannula.
In any other case, too much repetition becomes monotonous and tedious to read. In general, short sentences work well at the beginning or end of a paragraph to grab attention, while longer sentences provide explanations and support.
However, longer sentences can make writing feel heavy and obscure the meaning. To avoid this, place the main idea (or core) at the start of the sentence and add extra details afterward for context.
(Loaded) Due to this fact, we hypothesized that our unskilled athletes, although dependent on the relationship between muscle activation and interaction torque of the wrist, elbow, and shoulder, will ultimately rely more on the interaction torques in the wrist, elbow, and shoulder and less on the muscle activation of the wrist, elbow, and shoulder to produce a higher-velocity baseball throw.
(Improved) We hypothesized that unskilled athletes will rely on interaction torques more than muscle torques [core] during high-velocity baseball throws at the wrist, elbow, and shoulder joints [context].
2. Add Emphasis with Subordinate Clause
Subordinate clauses connect ideas by creating a dependency relationship between thoughts, thus adding clarity:
The recycling facility is located between Wrenwood and Shadefall. Both villages use it.
The recycling facility, which is located between Wrenwood and Darrtown [dependent clause], is used by both villages.
A compound-complex sentence has multiple main clauses and at least one dependent clause.
Productivity is central to controlling inflation [main clause]; when productivity rises [dependent clause], employers can raise wages without raising prices [main clause].
You can also improve loaded and disconnected sentences by adding subordinate clauses:
(Loaded: no emphasis) The river is 100 kilometers long, and it averages 50 meters in width, and its depth averages 3 meters.
(Improved) The river, which is 100 kilometers long and averages 50 meters in width, has an average depth of 3 meters.
(Even better) The river is 100 kilometers long. It averages 50 meters in width and 3 meters in depth.
3. Add Rhythm with Parallelism
Parallelism is achieved by repeating words, phrases, or clauses within a sentence to show equal importance. It improves readability and flow, as the readers can anticipate the meaning of the sentence based on its rhythm.
In science, descriptions must be precise, recipes must be complete, data must be exact, logic must be transparent, and conclusions must be clearly stated. There is no place for ambiguity or froth in the archives of scientific records.
To avoid awkward sentences, do not mix gerunds, infinitives, nouns, or adjectives. Trick: read each section with the beginning of the sentence, as if they were all independent sentences.
4. Aim for Conciseness
Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs, or “nominalizations”:
The implementation of the plan was successful.
The plan was implemented successfully.
Choose action verbs over forms of to be:
(Loaded) One difference between television news reporting and the coverage provided by newspapers is the time factor between the actual happening of an event and the time it takes to be reported. The problem is that instantaneous coverage is physically impossible for newspapers.
(Improved) Television news reporting differs from that of newspapers in that television, unlike newspapers, can provide instantaneous coverage of events as they happen.
Avoid double negatives:
He wasn’t unhappy with his purchase.
Less attention is paid to commercials that lack human interest stories than to other kinds of commercials.
People pay more attention to commercials with human interest stories than to other kinds of commercials.
Turn “noun strings” into simpler phrases by changing one noun into a verb:
This report explains our investment growth stimulation projects.
This report explains our projects to stimulate growth in investments.
Try flipping two clauses in a sentence:
Our models worked well when compared with the calculated values, which is evidenced by the percent errors.
As the percent errors indicate, our models worked well when compared with the calculated values.
Change verbs into adjectives:
The digital shift indicator failed. It was removed from the device.
The failed digital shift indicator was removed from the device.
Use compound predicate: one subject with multiple verbs:
The company tried but did not succeed in that field.
5. Improve Flow
Create smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs without resorting to filler.
One effective method of achieving smooth flow is by turning each point of an outline into a topic sentence for a paragraph. The rest of the paragraph will support and develop the main point with related details.
The arithmetic of searching for oil is stark. For all the scientific methods of detection, the only way the oil driller can actually know for certain that there is oil in the ground is to drill a well. The average cost of drilling an oil well is over $300,000, and drilling a single well may cost over $8,000,000. And once the well is drilled, the odds against it containing any oil at all are 8 to 1.
Another way to achieve natural flow is to move from familiar information to new information. Start with a subject that is familiar to the reader, then link it to the new content:
Lately, most movies I’ve seen have been merely second-rate entertainment, but occasionally there are some with worthwhile themes. One recent movie I saw was about the rapid disappearance of the Indian culture.
Another way to create flow is to repeat the subject or object from the previous sentence:
The body uses hormones to coordinate the metabolism of its many distant cells. A hormone is a chemical that is carried in the bloodstream and that gives a message to cells it contacts. For sugar metabolism, one of the hormone messengers is insulin, and its message is “take up, use, and store glucose.
Insulin is a protein that is made of beta cells, which are clustered inside the pancreas […]
6. Create Emphasis
Varying sentence structure helps contrast main ideas with details and keeps readers interested.
Readers usually focus on the first and last words of a sentence, and on the first and last sentences of a paragraph. Keep this in mind when highlighting important points.
When in doubt, use the rule of threes: follow three short sentences with one longer sentence containing three clauses and three lists.
After a decade of grinding war, our brave men and women in uniform are coming home. After years of grueling recession, our businesses have created over 6M new jobs. We buy more American cars than we have in five years, and less foreign oil than we have in 20. Our housing market is healing, our stock market is rebounding, and consumers, patients, and homeowners enjoy stronger protections than ever before.